She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
