Are we in a gay sports bar?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize