Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
