I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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