i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
MIDGETS
????
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
