The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
