My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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