you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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