Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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