Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize