I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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