I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
