I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
