I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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