She's JV to your varsity
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is wine microwaveable?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
A bitchslap is in order.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
