oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
