im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
