there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
