Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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