bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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