Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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