There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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