he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I believe in your delicious
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
