Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
