If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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