He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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