He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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