you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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