5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize