Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
