a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
