so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize