Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
