last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
