Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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