Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
