Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
