My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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