His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
