we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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