forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
