smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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