life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
