on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
