I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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