so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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