Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
