I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
