There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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