Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.