I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize