he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
