Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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