that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
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You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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