Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
