areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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