Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize