where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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