She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
