I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
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I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize