I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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