he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
