I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
