Well douche your snatch and let's go!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
